


A Far, Far Better Thing

by TheDoctorAndRiversArmyOfPeppers



Category: Doctor Who, The Diary of River Song (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-21 06:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDoctorAndRiversArmyOfPeppers/pseuds/TheDoctorAndRiversArmyOfPeppers
Summary: She remembered the way his hair curled, the way he smelt, and how lovely his voice was. His scarf and his silliness, and his brilliant smile. The life they could've had.The life where he'd been her husband since his very first face.





	A Far, Far Better Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 55th anniversary, Doctor Who!
> 
>  
> 
> All quotes belong to Big Finish Productions.

" _It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done. It is a far, far greater risk that I go to than I have ever known_."

 

He hadn't just been talking about the Emperor, she knew. He meant something far more personal than that.

The second that timeline pinged out of existence, River had found herself on the massage table on Phalagaskar Nine that she had been lying on when Gammarae had interrupted her session.

Bela's massage was as good as ever, but really not what she wanted right now. River stopped her with a wave of her hand as she sat up.

"Thank you, Bela," River sighed. "That's enough for today."

"Yes, Professor," she sounded hurt.

River would have to make it up to her later.

She heard Bela leave the room quietly, and pushed herself of the massage table. Having retrieved her dressing gown from where it'd been left, folded on the side board, she slipped it on over her shoulders and tied the cord around her waist.

River escaped the room as quickly as she could, not really trying to avoid bumping into other visitors, and hurried up the grand staircase to her room. The emotions were stifling, and she wanted to deal with them somewhere less public.

She closed the door to her suite rather too forcefully, and dropped heavily onto her bed.

It was now, and only now, that she let it get to her. Only now that she allowed herself to remember what she'd lost, how much she'd given up.

She remembered the way his hair curled, the way he smelt, and how lovely his voice was. His scarf and his silliness, and his brilliant smile. The life they could've had.

The life where he'd been her husband since his very first face.

The Doctor had been so sad the moment he knew it was all going to be rewritten, and that he was going to lose her. She had meant so much to him.

River clutched her pillow tighter as she thought of his face as he told her he couldn't bare not seeing her again. She wanted that Doctor back. She wanted to hug him. She wanted that life they lost.

She stayed there, lying still on the bed for hours.

 

 

River zapped into the room in a haze of blue, crackling light. She looked around herself at the heaving bookshelves and cluttered desk, and was relieved to find the room empty. Well, empty except for the TARDIS.

River wondered idly why her husband had landed in an office. The TARDIS tended to steer clear of such places unless it belonged to a friend. The Doctor's timeship found offices and-the-like to be quite profoundly boring. So whose office was it?

She headed over to the desk, wary she'd have to be quick as his bowtie-wearing ass could be back any moment. But it didn't feel right to leave without having a little nose around, and answering a few questions.

Her eyes fell on the photograph straight away.

Her own likeness stared back at her as she picked the frame up in both of her hands.

She was confused now, because that meant the office had to be _his._ She must've stumbled upon a part of his life she knew nothing about. Because honestly, she'd never heard anything of this, and he was the last person she'd expect to have an office. A study, yes, but _this_ was so unlike him.

But there was no other explanation for her photograph - and Susan's - being there. She had a lot of questions, and a feeling she wasn't supposed to get them.

River placed her photograph back on the desk next to his granddaughter's, not quite how it used to be, and half-jogged to the TARDIS. She wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

She climbed up the outside of the timeship and retrieved her spare key that he still kept in her cubby hole behind the 'X', and let herself into the box.

And by goodness, the changes inside were unexpected, too.

She had been in the TARDIS with this interior before, but never _quite_ like this. To one side, the curved wall was lined with bookshelves, and on the other side it was mostly bare. There were chalkboards and armchairs, paintings and desks, it felt so much more... cosy.

But that wasn't the strangest change about it. River looked across the room to where an electric guitar was resting in its stand. Must've been a companion's, River reasoned. She couldn't imagine the Doctor playing it, but she wouldn't put it past him to try. She laughed fondly at the idea.

Putting all thoughts aside, she stepped up to the console and started up the engines.

 

 

The telltale 'vworp vworp' noise of his ship dematerializing brought the Doctor running back into his office. He got there just as she faded from reality, vanishing into the vortex.

There was only one person he could think of who would do that, and that realisation hit him like a knife to the hearts. Because he could smell faint wisps of her perfume on the air, and when he went to pick up her photograph, he noticed it was at slightly the wrong angle.

She'd been there for the first time in almost a century, and he'd missed her by seconds.

He rubbed his sightless eyes with his hand as he went to numbly drop himself into his chair.

 

 

River didn't know where or when she was, but it was snowing and there were an awful lot of people about. But if this was where the TARDIS had brought her, then he had to be around here somewhere.

She shivered, suddenly realising how time and weather appropriate her clothing wasn't. You can't go about in a Victorian winter in jeans and a faux leather jacket.

She quickly nipped back inside the timeship to change. It was too cold, and she didn't want to make herself that noticeable to her fourth husband. She couldn't have him going around remembering her, and she didn't fancy deleting this bit. It didn't seem right, somehow.

She found a dress she liked in the TARDIS wardrobe and hurried to put it on.

 

 

River walked down the street in her newly acquired dress. The corset was digging into her a bit, but she ignored it. It wasn't going to be for long, anyway.

Twenty minutes passed before she found him, bounding cheerfully through the crowds. He was taller than everyone else, and that damn, great scarf was just... well, his scarf. River smiled fondly.

Then the nerves started setting in as she realised she now had to actually talk to him. The butterflies fluttered about in her stomach as she wondered what to say.

She took a deep, calming breath to pull herself together, then hurried after him.

She reached him and went to get his attention, trying to keep her nervous giggling under control.

"Excuse me," she grinned and he turned to face her with a beaming smile.

"Yes?" Honestly, his teeth...

"Er, I'm a little lost. I was wondering if you could help me."

"Looking for presents, are we? Me too. One can always find something interesting for Christmas in Oxford Street."

"Ahh, Oxford Street, yes. That's what I wanted to know." Well, that answered that question.

"You're not from around here, are you?" he frowned.

"Oh, you have no idea," she nervously giggled. "I don't suppose you know the year?"

"Ahh, you know, you'll think me awfully strange, but I'm not sure I do. Is that funny?"

"Oh, no, no. I know exactly what you mean," she giggled again.

"Do you?" He seemed very intrigued by her. "Forgive me but, do I know you?"

"Oh, _no._ I think I'd remember you if we'd met. I think I'd struggle ever to forget you."

His face lit up when she said that, and that made her hearts feel lighter. She could feel them hammering strongly in her chest, and she briefly wondered why she'd never felt this way before.

"Really? That's very kind of you to say."

"Oh, not at all."

"Well, as I seem to have given you all the information you need, I'll be on my way. Maybe... maybe I'll bump into you some other time."

"Yes, I'd like that." Her face hurt from all her smiling, but she couldn't stop.

"So would I," he agreed. "Merry Christmas, one and all."

And with that, the Doctor turned and continued on his way down the street.

"Merry Christmas," she sighed. "Some other time, Doctor. Some other time."

She watched him go, until his entire frame had been totally absorbed by the bustling crowds.

With butterflies still in her stomach, she walked back down the street, humming _We Wish You a Merry Christmas_ as she went.

Oh, how she hoped she met this one again.

River stepped back into the TARDIS and took her back to the other Doctor. With any luck, he wouldn't even notice she was gone.

 

 

The Fourth Doctor carried on down the street, thinking on the encounter he'd just had. That woman had been quite fascinating. She was almost certainly a time traveller. He couldn't think of any other explanation as to why she didn't know the year.

He filed it under 'to think about later'. There was no reason to worry about it now.

The Doctor instead brought himself back to doing what he had been doing before the mysterious woman had interrupted him: buying Christmas presents.

If only he could remember who they were for.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. :)


End file.
